Lustspiel agony --- "We're talking about wives literally banging on the bathroom door because they've been in there for four hours masturbating and their penis is bleeding." --- Part III
Text from an article in 1843 (an offshoot of The Economist) Dec. 2017, pp 84-89. Images from Kristen Bjorn's short film Wild Seed, starring Ridder Riviera, Ivan Gregory, and Andy Star. For Bjorn's entire clip, see our earlier post Sheer Lust. For the previous part, go here.
|Few men are ever comfortable seeking guidance|
from other men, particularly about sex.
|Most men end up learning what they feel |
they need to know from pornography.
Religion can exacerbate these problems.
|Mordechai Salzberg, a therapist who specializes in |
sexual disorders with mainly ultra-orthodox jews in
New York, says the men who come to his office
have real trouble regulating themselves.
|"We're talking about wives literally banging on the bathroom|
door because they've been in there for four hours masturbating
and their penis is bleeding."
|[These men] learned as children that they could make themselves|
feel better by masturbating, which ultimately becomes "a self-
soothing exercise run amok."
|Many of [Salzberg's] patients like the "sex addiction" label|
because it captures just how unmanageable their problem has become.
|[Says one of these patients:] "The whole shebang was terrifying |
for me. Porn...gave me a way to be sexual without taking any
|All of this can make the male-dominated environment of |
Sex Addiction Anonymous especially comforting for
These are rare spaces where men are encouraged
to be vulnerable and connect with others.
|Says Dr. Katehakis: "these guys are directors, producers, financiers,|
bankers. There's an SAA meeting in Los Angeles every day."
|Human sexuality is a complicated business.|
|Not until Alfred Kinsey's ground-breaking research was it |
publicly recognized just how common it is for men to have
sex with other men.
|The notion of normality is subjective.|
|"A nymphomaniac," Kinsey said, "is someone who has more sex than you do."|
|More than half a century on, we are still fairly squeamish about sex.|
|It is everywhere and it is used to sell everything.|
|Yet we rarely talk about it.|
|Many of us avoid discussing our needs and desires |
even with people we have sex with.
|This seems especially true in America.|
|"The culture in general is kind of sex-phobic"...|
|...says John Guiliano, a psychotherapist in Pennsylvania.|
|"I don't think the concept of sex addiction would be embraced|
if the culture was more accepting."
|America has a bad record of pathologising sexual behavior.|
|It wasn't long ago that leading therapists...|
|...worked to "cure"...|
|Yet many conditions once ascribed to mental illness are now accepted.|
|Even SM between consenting adults...|
|...seems far less alarming...|
|...in the wake of "Fifty Shades of Grey."|
|It was only in 2010 that the American Psychiatric Association|
announced that it would exclude BDSM from the DSM.
|Sex addition may enjoy a similar fate.|
|In the meantime, the term has not been as helpful as some may hope.|
|Quite a few men prefer the label "sex addict" to admitting|
that they no longer desire their spouse.
|And a number are suffering from other untreated mental problems.|
|SORRY, WE RAN OUT OF TEXT.|
|WELL, ENJOY THE REST OF THE SHOW UNFETTERED:|