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New in the gallery -- Henry Scott Tuke

Raw confessions -- I'm 18 but go on dates with older men because I'm lonely and bored

Growing up, I was either bullied or invisible. I didn’t have any friends. Now that I’m in college, I still don’t have too many friends, maybe just one or two. I’ve never been to a real college party. I don’t really have hobbies because I don’t know what I want to do in life or what I like. I feel very lonely.

When I used tinder, I noticed I got a lot of attention. My first tinder date was with a 25 year old. I’d never been on a date before, so I didn’t know what going back to someone’s place implies. He got excited that I was a shy virgin, and didn’t care that I was frozen, scared and didn’t say yes.

I noticed guys my age are flaky and ghost a lot. But older guys, mostly 26-35, give me a lot more attention. They superlike me, call me beautiful and gorgeous, and plan nice dates. I know they don’t really like me, they just like that I’m 18. But it feels good to be appreciated for something. When I’m bored, it’s easy to swipe for a few minutes, talk to a guy for a day or two, then meet up.

Even though I don’t like most of them, and don’t even find some of them physically attractive, I still go out with them. It gives me something to do. Sometimes I take pictures of the cool places we go to and put them on my instagram story, and everyone wonders how every weekend I am at some different attraction in the city. I’m insecure about my appearance and body, so sometimes I go back to their place, let them take off my clothes so they can compliment my body, but stop them before they have sex with me.

Sometimes I feel better, because at least I’m not in my room bored all day. But in a way, I feel worse. No one ever compliments my personality. I never get told that I’m funny, or smart, or cool to hang out with. I am just a cute young thing to look at. When I’m 30, I won’t have anything to cling onto anymore. It’s sad, but I try not to think about that. Sorry for the rant, but I don’t have anyone to talk to about it.

Posted Mar 30, 2019 11:00:53 by anonymous



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